BEN GOMORI

An edited version of this piece first appeared on DJBroadcast.net. The quotes in bold/italics are genuine comments from Amensia Ibiza's Facebook page. Since I worte this, her residency has been hailed a success and she has signed on for more shows at the megaclub. Meanwhile, the rest of Ibiza remains intact...

 

*

 

The online dance music community has gone a bit Points Of View recently. For those of you not old or British enough to get the reference, it was a TV programme hosted by a ginger witch where middle-class people with nothing better to do with their time would write in (actual letters!) to voice their disgust / outrage at some TV programme or other, which would get read out and pithily responded to by said witch (Anne Robinson). Well tonight, Matthew (I can't be bothered to explain this one), I'm going to be Anne Robinson, and the letter I've been sent is simply entitled: "OMFG WHAT DO AMNESIA THINK THEY ARE DOING GIVING PARIS HILTON A NIGHT????"

 

“A sad day for Ibiza, dance music and humanity”

 

Those up in arms about the decision megaclub (note the 'mega') to invite Hilton to host the series of Glitter & Diamonds parties - which may include 'DJ' spots from the heiress apparent herself - seem not to know the full history of the venue in question. ‘Pornstars' hosting nights at Amnesia is nothing new. Rocco Siffredi, one of the world's most prominent 'adult entertainers', has hosted several foam parties at the venue over the years - with the added bonus of 'live sex shows'. Shocking, right? How cheap and tacky and decidedly uncredible for our magical White Isle. Oh wait a minute; didn't Manumission pioneer the art of the live sex show at their infamous and legendary house music nights - which in their dying throes resided at this very same venue?

 

“Absolutely and totally discrediting the entire EDM community”

 

Using celebrity - and sexuality - to sell club nights has long been part and parcel of a certain side of Ibiza. The fact that this time round the celebrity in question also happens to be a supposed 'DJ' (which we all know means different things to different people) makes no difference. Just ignore it. This night isn't aimed at you. People on Amnesia’s Facebook page are clamouring that they will stop going to their favourite nights at the club in protest. Apparently now - and only now - “it’s all about the money”. It begs the question, would you stop going to fabric because Peaches Geldof once ‘DJed’ at a student night there?

 

“You’re literally ruining the whole island”

 

Anyone clamouring over Ibiza's - or indeed dance music’s - lost soul in 2013 has missed the boat, as many a seasoned veteran will have attested for decades now. This is the latest in a long line of mega-commercialist deals that have come to characterise certain elements of the island. But guess what? Despite big money, WAGs, EDM, chart dubstep, James Blunt, Lenny Kravitz, Elton John, Burn Energy Drink, David Cameron and dozens of other bastions of commercialism descending on the island for decades now, the Ibiza that us lot want still (largely) exists.

 

In terms of dance music culture on the island, one could argue that there are far worse offenders than a tacky night clearly not aimed at anyone with a penchant for underground dance music. Extortionate prices; the crackdown on outdoor parties and opening hours; unadventurous music choices; just a few of the genuine concerns that are surely far more of an issue for those of us who frequent the more 'reputable' nights on the island. Paris Hilton is a sign of the times, sure, and dialogue about the direction the island is heading in is important - but four nights at one club across a whole season is hardly going to be a gamechanger.

 

“management team of amnesia should be sucked!!!!”

 

It will be interesting to see whether Glitter & Diamonds becomes a success during its four-week run. If her night removes just a handful of mainstream munters from the island's more ‘credible’ nights for us uber-discerning folk, surely that's a good thing?

 

Ibiza is one of the few places in the world where otherwise underground house and techno represents a viable mainstream, overground currency. Yes, there is a lot that's undesirable about modern Ibiza - but this night shouldn't be the focus of people's ire. There are far more important things to rage against on the island. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up, stop paying attention to such tabloidesque polemic, and keep on dancing - at your preferred choice of non-celebrity-hosted night.